boat life humor

A collection of 27 posts

Boatlife Featured

Eighteen Feet Wide, Twenty Allowed: Our Crinan Canal Ordeal

A near-miss with the Scottish National Wingfoiling Championships, an Isle of Arran hike abandoned to the dog, a white-knuckle squeeze through the Crinan Canal, and a daughter's ill-fated bus journey — the Firth of Clyde leg of life aboard Moonfleet.

boatlifeadventure

Farewell Comet: Scotland and a Maiden Voyage

Reader, we have arrived. Nine months and over nine thousand miles after leaving the dock in Florida, with nothing but a plan, a dog, and a startlingly over-optimistic sense of our own competence, Moonfleet is finally anchored in Scottish water. To be precise, she is anchored in 15 foot

Boatlife Featured

England My England: The Crossing That Humbled Us

A brutal overnight crossing of the Bristol Channel, a seasick dog, frozen lip filler, and our first days exploring Wales - does this get easier?!

acoruna, spain, Featured

How Spain Conquered The Hungry

We crossed an ocean, arrived in Spain, and immediately discovered that conquering the Atlantic was nothing compared to finding lunch

atlanticcrossing

We Crossed the Atlantic. Would We Do It Again?

After 4,500 miles, countless vats of coffee, several mechanical betrayals and a small fortune in fuel, we finally reached Spain. So now that we’ve actually crossed the Atlantic, there’s only one question left… would we do it again?

atlanticcrossing Featured

Everyone Needs a Ken

It took an engine alarm in the middle of the Atlantic, a cargo ship in the dark, and one very resourceful husband to make me realize something surprising…

Members only

atlanticcrossing Featured

New video drop: Horta, Azores

atlanticcrossing

New Video Drop and a Swallow Tattoo

New video: Killer whales, a stowaway bird, Bermuda Triangle waters, spectacular sunsets, and ongoing negotiations with Gypsy about using a floating dog bathroom. Looking back, I suspect the ocean was unusually kind to us—just to lure us farther from shore.

Paid-members only

atlanticcrossing Featured

The Atlantic Ocean Is Trying to Return Us to Sender

New video: Atlantic crossing safety prep, provisioning, emergency drills and life aboard before leaving St. Thomas for Bermuda. Back when we thought this adventure looked romantic and not like two exhausted adults and one traumatized dog living inside a maritime washing machine.

atlanticcrossing Featured

Nine Days Until the Azores and Already Feral

We leave Bermuda and begin our Atlantic crossing to the Azores aboard our trawler with our dog Gypsy. Ocean life quickly descends from romantic sailing fantasy into stained clothes, fake grass potty struggles, Bermudan fashion obsessions, and a slow transformation into maritime goblins.

atlanticcrossing Featured

Halfway Across the Atlantic With a Constipated Dog

Crossing the Atlantic, both radars failed, our dog staged a 45 hour potty protest, and we accidentally kidnapped a sparrow named Fred. Civilization is slipping rapidly.

atlanticcrossing Featured

Live from Cockroach Island

We leave the Caribbean behind and head north into five days of open ocean, saying goodbye to six extraordinary months of island life. Also: our first livestream was an absolute catastrophe.

atlanticcrossing Featured

A Sailor’s Goodbye

Sailors never really say goodbye. They just assume they’ll bump into each other somewhere improbable, like Bermuda or the Med. As we prepare Moonfleet for our Atlantic crossing, the hardest part hasn’t been the ocean ahead — it’s leaving the people behind.

billysquier Featured

New video - Private Island, Public Beach… and our Rock Star Guest

A private island, a forbidden tree line, and a dog who keeps introducing us to famous people. Guana Island delivers perfect sand, strict rules—and a very unexpected guest list.

atlanticcrossing

How to Lose Several Mermaids, and your Nerves in Open Water

An aborted emergency practice drill, a wobbling boat, and the violent demise of several decorative mermaids: It turns out the ocean doesn’t need to try very hard to humble you. Sometimes it just waits until you’re sleep-deprived and feeling quietly confident… and then gives you feedback.

atlanticcrossing Featured

How to Stay Married When One of You is the Captain

Eight years of marriage, one trawler, and a sudden realization: I’ve accidentally downgraded my independence while upgrading my relationship. Now I’m learning knots, night shifts, and how to take orders from my husband without starting a mutiny.

Paid-members only

Boatlife Featured

Ahoy St John! A New Video

St John adventures, a terrifying zip line in St Martin, pirate hair regrets, and a nervous run toward a transatlantic crossing…

Boatlife Featured

Lucky: Or How to Board the Wrong Boat in the BVI With Confidence

I used to collect shells until we accidentally recreated a Caribbean coastline inside the boat. Now I collect stories. This one involves identical catamarans, borrowed dinghies, a stolen kayak, and a man named Lucky who boarded the wrong boat and met a woman with a fishing spear.

boatlifeadventure Featured

New Video: St Thomas, BVI

Boat life update introducing our latest video, featuring my very real editor (not in a yurt), and our current position between St Martin and video-time St Thomas. Plus a preview of the BVI coming soon!

crusing lifestyle humor Featured

From Monkey to Moonfleet: A Love Story in Three Boats

A Valentine’s boating love story about second chances, online dating, and why we traded sailboats for full-time liveaboard trawler life.

Paid-members only

guanaisland Featured

How to Panic-Clean a Boat When a Rock Legend Is Coming for Cocktails

A forgotten Cornish hen, a frantic deep clean, and an unexpected rock legend converge on our boat at Guana Island in the British Virgin Islands

bitterendyachtclub Featured

Wing Foiling, Megayachts & Giant Spuds: A New Year in the British Virgin Islands

A New Year in the British Virgin Islands among megayachts, wing foiling experiments, floating football screens, and the quiet rebellion of being the only trawler.

Boatlife

Christmas at Sea in the Caribbean-Drones, Family and Island Life

A funny, honest take on Christmas at sea in the Caribbean-drones, family, private islands, and learning to feel at home while unanchored.

Paid-members only

Boatlife

Welcome to Bahía Marina: The Sci-Fi Resort Where Time Stands Still and the Water… Moves You

Dominican Republic Featured

Thanksgiving in Samana: A Meditation on Gratitude, Smugness, and mild Caribbean Terror

Today is Thanksgiving and I should be writing something heart-warming and emotional about gratitude. And I am grateful, truly. But if I’m honest, I also feel… smug. Embarrassed and smug — a combination I didn’t even know was possible outside of yoga classes, comparing sour dough recipes, and